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And then there was Pie. And it was good.

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Fic: Pirate Gourmet Contest [Sep. 10th, 2006|03:12 pm]
And then there was Pie. And it was good.


Title: Pirate Gourmet Contest
Author: Estelendur
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sparrington
Notes/Summary: Written for scruffy_love using phrase prompt #9: They both like pie but there’s only one piece left. WHAT WILL HAPPEN????? I also used a challenge from my brother: You should totally use "Pirate Gourmet Contest" in a fic. (paraphrased)
Disclaimer: Disney owns Jack 'n James. I own the pie.
Spoilers: There couldn't be less if it tried.
Warnings: Considering the pairing, and given the rating, there's nothing I should need to warn you about in the first place.
Special Thanks To: The betalicious greenmtnboy18; and witchbabyweetz, for coming up with the word "betalicious". ;) Also my brother for his challenge and the creators of Tenchi in Tokyo for providing the source of his challenge.
No Thanks To: Weebl and Bob, for imbuing "pie" with meme-like qualities.
Additional Note: I was asked to post this here by "lj user="vintage_cherry"/>. So that is who you should either thank or blame, depending on preference.

"But James, luv, I won the Pirate Gourmet Contest three years running!" Jack whined.

James raised an eyebrow. "What the hell is a 'Pirate Gourmet Contest'? I doubt such a thing even exists."

"You wound me." Jack made a melodramatic gesture. "Look, I'm not lying. It's an annual contest held in Tortuga. They gather pirates from all over the Caribbean and hold a contest to see who can cook the best food, and who can appreciate it best. Giving some of us a chance to show off our more refined sides, as it were."

"Oh. Really? And were you a cook or a taster?"

"A taster, of course. If I'd won as a cook, d'you really think we'd be eating the same bloody thing every single day?" Jack snorted in disgust.

"But how does that entitle you to the last piece of pie?" James glared at Jack.

"Why, I'll appreciate the exquisite flavour more than you will, of course." Jack smiled. "It's such excellent pie that it really deserves to be savoured. Savvy?"

"Jack, you've had over half the pie already," James pointed out, exasperated.

"Have I? Oh. ... What's that?" Jack looked horrified, pointing behind James's left shoulder.

James sighed and rolled his eyes, not looking.

Jack grabbed the last piece of pie, stuffing it in his mouth.

"Jack!" James shouted, and lunged across the table.

Some of the piece of pie was still outside of Jack's mouth; James tackled Jack and bit into it.

Warm, delicious pie filled his mouth, and as he chewed it, he found that Jack was kissing him. He enjoyed the odd situation, until he found that Jack was taking advantage of it to steal his pie! Quickly, he shoved Jack away and swallowed his pie.

"Pirate to the last, eh?" he asked.

"Yep." Jack said, grinning hugely.

"Oh, shut up," said James, and tackled Jack once more.